Ask Me

yo Kandy

   I hope you can help me. My problem is my parents. They are always telling me what to do, how to dress, who I can be friends with. You catch my drift. They are so out of touch and uncool. Like the other night, I dressed for a party, and my Dad hit the roof. He made me go change my clothes before I could go out. My mom is always telling me I can't wear my eyeshadow the way I want, or get the color of lipstick I want. I mean like I'm 13 years old, and should be able to do what I want. I mean these guys are like neanderthals, and don't know what the styles are these days. What can I do.

                                                                                                     Signed,

                                                                                                          Emo Girl

Hey Don’t Know

  I can see your dilemma; you have got a lot going on here. I can see how this can seem overwhelming, as you are actually looking at several problems here all rolled together to look like one big problem. So let’s look at each problem one at a time, and we can probably figure something out.

  First, you say this girl is your best friend.  Then, you say that you don’t want to be her friend anymore because you can’t tell her your secrets and she is constantly jealous of you. This, to me, looks like the first problem we have to solve. You must decide if this girl is your best friend or not. That is the big question. Once that is decided, you will know how to solve the other problems. This is this hardest decision you will have to make, so you’ll have to think about it long and hard.  As you know best friends take time and effort to keep up, and your best friend is also returning time and effort to keep the friendship up, looking out for each other, taking care of each other. Best friends want each other to be happy, and enjoy each other’s successes as if it were their own. BEST Friends only truly want the best for each other. As you know “real” best friends are hard to find. That’s what makes this decision so hard. So while you’re thinking about it, let’s look at the other problems to see what’s up there. This might help answer the big question.

   The big problem you say that bugs you about her is the jealousy. Are you sure it’s jealousy? Many other emotions disguise themselves as jealousy, so you must make sure it’s the real thing. Real jealousy is almost impossible between best friends. Sometimes concern, caring and maybe a little envy can seem to be jealousy, but it’s really not. Let’s look at an example to see if it truly is jealousy. Let’s say you bought a new dress and you look good in it. Your friend sees you and says things like, you look so good, I wish I had a dress like that, and even if they say I’m soooo Jealous, doesn’t mean this is real jealousy. If she rips it or “accidentally” spills something on it, or goes around and tells the school how terrible the dress is, That is more like real jealousy.  So look hard at what you think she’s being jealous about and see how real it is.

  The next problem is that it seems your Mom and her Mom are friends, or at least talk to each other and your friend. Sometimes when the parents are BFF’s they expect the kids to be BFF’s and that’s not logical; and unfair to the kids. If this is the case, then don’t make a scene about not wanting to be her friend, don’t make a fuss. Just slowly back away, create a cool calm distance between you and this girl. If you make a scene about not being her friend, then the grief will come. Do it calmly, and without making a scene about it. Find excuses to be away when they come over.  The problem here is that you will have to see this girl sometimes, and have to socialize. When this happens, be polite, be friendly, and just keep your cool, calm distance. This type of problem usually can work itself out.

   The last problem you have to look at here is the secret that you didn’t want to tell your friend. Was it a good secret or a bad secret? Good secrets are like “who is crushing on who,” or “ I like a certain boy, and no one knows it.” These are secrets that best friends need to be able to keep, and not share with anyone. Especially if it’s about you liking a boy, and you get embarrassed when it gets all over the school. Best Friends always keep these secrets. Bad secrets are when someone can get harmed or do something they shouldn’t be doing, like smoking, or meeting someone you only met on the internet, and that person tells you to keep it a secret from your parents. Some secrets can hurt people, and cause harm in other ways that you may not be aware of. REAL Best friends will never keep these secrets because they are looking out for you. They care about you, and are concerned you might get hurt. So was the secret a good secret, or a bad secret?  Did your friend tell the secret because she was jealous, or because she was concerned for you?

  Answering these small problems will tell you what you need to do to solve the big problem. Once you decide if she has just small envy or real jealousy, you will know how to act. Once you decide if she’s a friend of yours or a friend forced on you because of the parents, you will know how to act. And once you decide if the secret you had was a good secret or a bad secret, you will know if this girl betrayed you by telling, or if she was acting like your real best friend and just looking out for you.

  Hey Kandy,

  I hope you can help me. I have a problem with a friend of mine. She's really bossy. When we're together and are trying to do something, it always has to be what she wants to do. If we play a game, she always has to make the rules. When something doesn't work for her, she's always blaming me or someone else and using it for an excuse. Yesterday, we were playing baseball, and when she struck out, she said  it was because I was talking to the coach and distracted her. I like her and all, but her behavior is starting to get on my nerves. She's lost most of her friends all ready, and nobody want's to hang out with her anymore. We've been friends for a long time, but I don't know how much more I can take either. Advice?

                                                                          Signed Aggravated

   Hey Aggravated,

   Boy, do I know what you mean. I think we've all run across people like that. People that for some reason think their wants are more important than anyone else's, especially those closest to them, like their friends. They act like little divas, and when they don't get their way they throw fits, and pout. It is aggravating and I understand your frustration. Nobody likes pushy people. There's really not a lot of ways to deal with these people, but since she's your friend, you're right for wanting to help. Your friend might not be aware she's acting this way. Try talking to her, and tell her she's losing her friends, and how ugly she's acting. Sad thing is, most people who act this way don't know how unpleasant they are to be around.  You described the problem yourself. When they can't do something, their ego won't let them think it's possibly 

anything they could be doing wrong, so it must be something else.  And it really does come down to ego. A healthy ego is a good thing to have, but in some people this ego gets way over inflated. They think everything they do is perfect, and when it's not, then it must be some other reason, since they couldn't possibly be doing something wrong. I would talk to her and tell her how her behavior is making you feel. Give her a chance to change. Offer to help. These are things that friends do. We've talked about being true friends and what that means.

   If this girl is really your friend, then she'll want to know how she's behaving. She might not know. Sometimes this works, and she'll work on changing. If she does, then be a friend and help out.

  But you must be prepared if she thinks the problem is you instead of her. Again, this is a problem of an unhealthy ego. She'll get mad at you, and you may lose her as a friend. If this is the case, then if you really think about it, it's not that big of a loss. This person doesn't want a friend, they want a minion. They don't want to be your friend, they want to be your boss.  Who needs that? I don't and you probably don't either. I mean really, who wants to be a minion? I'd rather think for myself, just like I'm sure you do. So sometimes, you just have to walk away. This girl will then be free to try and find a minion, and you can be free to find a real friend. Sometimes, this is the only thing that works with these people.

   Write back and tell me how it goes. Tell your friend to write me and ask me why she's losing all her friends.

  Hi Kandy,

   I know a boy who is sooo cute. Everyone says he likes me, and he does act like it when he's around me. My question is should I ask him if he likes me. If I should ask him, how would I do that?

                                                                                    Signed Wanting to Know

     Hey Wanting

    Just wondering if this boy does the things that really tell you he likes you. Does he listen to what you say, are your feelings important to him? Does he take your opinions into account when he does and says things? These are all indictions he likes you. Remember, someone who really likes you won't do things, or ask you to do things you aren't comfortable with. If all this is true, then it's a good probablilty he likes you. Then in this case, I wouldn't ask him. At this age, boys aren't that comfortable talking about their feelings. My Mom says, get used to that, as it doesn't change as they get older. Boys and men just don't talk about their feelings that much, and you putting him on the spot like that could make for some awkward situations. As you know, it's not what people say that's important, it's what they do. Look and see how he behaves around you. Does he treat you nice, does he respect you and your feelings? If so, then enjoy that, and when the moment is right, the words will come. You won't have to ask, he'll tell you.

  Hey Kandy,

  Just wondering. Why don't you like boys?

                                                                    Signed Boy-Crazy

   Hey Boy-Crazy

     I do like boys, I think every girl should own one. I'm just not boy-crazy like you must be. I have so much going on in my life right now, and I'm having lots of fun. With school work, my hectic Video Shooting schedule, and adventuring, it doesn't leave a lot of spare time. I figure it this way; I'm only young for a little while, and I want to spend this time setting up the rest of my life. Uncle Mike says the attention I pay to my education and skills now, determines how successful I'll be when I grow up. And I AM going to be a success. Since I don't need a boy hanging around all the time to be a success, I think a boyfriend can wait for awhile.

   I'll tell you a secret though, but you can't tell anyone. There IS a boy I'm kind of sweet on. He's a pirate captain, and for a boy, he's not such a booger-head. We both enjoy the same things, and like it when we can find some time to spend together. He wants to grow up to be a Space Pirate, so he's always off adventuring and stuff. He's almost as busy as I am, which works out. I can't figure it out though. When he comes around, he gets all goo-goo faced, and acts like he's shy and clumsy, and all that. I know he's not shy because you can't be a Pirate Captain by being shy. Meadow says he acts that way because he likes me, and that funny feeling I get in my stomach when he comes over, means I like him too. I don't know about that. I mean, just because he's smart and kind of cute, and just because we both like adventuring together doesn't mean I like him. It could just be indigestion. But Meadow's pretty smart, especially about boys, so maybe .....

   Even though I'm only digital, I have the same thoughts and dreams you probably do. I wonder about my first kiss, my first "real" date, even my wedding. But things unfold in their own time, and that's off somewhere in the future. Me, I've got so much going on in the now, that the future can wait. That future includes finding the boy out there who will make those dreams come true with me.

Dear Kandy

    I'm 12 years old and just started seventh grade. My problem; I'm not pretty. All the guys in my school seem to go out with girls based on looks. The pretty girls get all the cool guys, and girls like me aren't given the time of day. It's not fair. I can try to change my hair, and start using make-up, but that still doesn't change what I look like.  I'm a really nice and caring person. How can I make the boys see beyond what I look like, and see the person I really am?

                                                                                      Signed Not Beautiful

Dear Beautiful,

     While true that good looks can be an asset, it is the most fleeting of assets. True beauty comes from inside, as does ugliness. A person who looks good but has an ugly heart is not a beautiful person. A person who isn't pretty, but has a kind and loving heart is beautiful. The problem you are having is that most boys in your grade, and girls too, have their ideas of beauty defined by what they see on TV and in the movies. This just isn't logical, but it is the facts you are seeing. Someone who would judge you just by what you look like, or by what color you are, or how much you weigh, isn't just shallow but also being stupid. I don't use the word stupid a lot, I don't like it, but in this case, it's the best way I can describe it. Unfortunately, this seems to be the case more and more. They are confusing prettiness with beauty. Don't make the same mistake

      I could come up with a dozen cliches about beauty, but you've heard them all before. Just keep in mind a few things. The way you look now, is not the way you will look in a couple years. You are still growing. Your looks will change. We've all heard the stories of the mousy girl who grows up to be a knock-out. Happens all the time. Prettiness is the most shallow of assets to bank on, as it tends to fade over time. Grown-up girls who count on their outer prettiness tend to panic when it starts to fade, and spend the rest of their lives trying to get it back. NEWSFLASH; it doesn't come back. Once it's gone, it's gone. That's why plastic surgery is so popular. Yuck, thanks but no thanks.

    While that doesn't help you now, it's something you will appreciate as you get older. Here's what you can do. You can't control the way you look, but you can control the way you are. Be beautiful inside, it will show on the outside. Develop your heart, mind and spirit, as this is where true beauty is found. True beauty never fades, it only gets better. And look at the way the popular kids act towards each other, how much petty drama goes on. How deceitful they are towards each other , and if you look hard enough you will find them to be rather pitiful, than beautiful. Yuck, again thanks but no thanks. I'd much rather prefer someone to like me for what I am, than what I look like, as I know their friendship is true. You'll find a boy, believe me. And when you do, he'll be a boy who wants a partner, not a trophy. He'll want someone he can trust and confide in, not just show-off in public. Isn't that a better person to go out with? It just may take some time. But when it happens, you will be much happier and the boy will treat you like the beautiful person you are, not some eye-candy to be consumed and discarded. You must be sure though, that you aren't making the same mistake. Are you only looking at the pretty boys? Are you not giving a boy a chance, just because he doesn't look like Nick Jonas? Then, you too are missing out on finding a beautiful person.

    I only ask one thing of you. Don't worry about whether you're pretty or not, and worry about if you are a beautiful person. Quit putting yourself down.  Take a good look in the mirror, do you see ugliness? I doubt it. You can change your hairstyle, you can try some makeup, but none of that will make you beautiful. Don't fall for the prettiness equals beauty line like so many kids are doing.  Concentrate on becoming more and more beautiful. That will guarantee you have a full and happy life. 

Dear Kandy,

     I hear so much about the earth and the environment, but I'm a little confused. My school teachers say one thing, my Dad says another, and my friends say something else. I don't know what to believe anymore. I worry that we might be destroying the earth, and don't know what to do about it. What difference can one person make anyway? I want to do the right thing, but I don't know what that is. Advice?

                                                                            Signed Confused

  Dear Confused,

    I can see your  dilema. By now you know how hard it is to get two grown-ups to agree on anything, especially something as important as the environment. It's really hard to know what to believe anymore. There is too much information and it seems nobody really knows what really is going on. And it seems the more you research it, the more confusing it all gets. It's enough to make us kids think it's all hopeless, such as you seem to be saying.

   The good news is, there is something we can do now that doesn't matter what all the "experts" are saying.  Living in the wired is kind of like you living in the real world. When I don't clean up my hard drive, it gives me problems, slows me down and makes me crash sometimes. So my advice is to clean up the real world like I have to clean the hard drive. It's the right thing to do, no matter what the talking heads say.  It  doesn't matter then if the problems are man-made or natural, because it's the right thing to do. I mean, who wants to walk around a neighborhood full of trash? A really wise human once said " we don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children." This is true. Would you rather live in a clean world or a dirty one? How about the day in the future when you have your own kids? Do you want them to ask the same questions, have the same fears?  You were concerned enough to e-mail me, so you must be concerned enough to do something about it.

    The other good news is that one person CAN make a difference. One person at a time is what it takes to do what needs to be done. You can be the difference, and start the change we kids seem to know needs to be made. I mean, someone has to show the grown-ups the right thing to do, as most of them are kind of clueless about this. Start a home recycling project. Get your parents and family involved. If the grown-ups don't buy into it, you tell them you are doing this for your kids. That could help get them involved. But even if it doesn't, you just keep doing it. They'll eventually see you are serious about this and you'll see them start to pitch in. Turn off lights and things when not being used. Get some friends together and clean up your playground.

   There is a lot to do, and a lot you want to do it. As usual we kids will lead the way on this. Do you see a piece of trash on the ground? If YOU pick it up, and throw it in a garbage can, then you just made a difference. Did your friend just throw his paper on the ground? YOU pick it up, and throw it away, you just made a difference. Tell your friend it's not cool to trash the planet, get them involved, then you made a big difference. Did you get your Mom to walk to the store instead of taking the car (within reason of course) Did you ride your bike somewhere instead of getting someone to drive you? Did you tell your Dad to get energy effecient light bulbs? All these things make a difference, and all are done by one person.

    Look on the Links page HERE for some ways to get started

Dear Kandy,

    My friend likes this guy and doesn't know if he likes her back. She is 10 and she thinks it's love. I have known her since we were in diapers and trust me this guy is way out of her league. When we're together, all she wants to do is look at his pictures in the year book. I don't even like him. What can I do to to make her snap out of it?

                                                                                           Signed  Concerned

Dear Concerned,

   In short, you really can't do anything. But one thing you shouldn't do is make fun of her feelings. Don't make fun of her crush. This could do in a friendship. People can't always control how they feel, or who they like, they just do. People will become defensive if you don't take their feelings seriously or belittle them. You don't like it when someone does that to you, and your friend won't like it, if you did that to her feelings.

    That said, as a friend, you are probably concerned for her, and maybe think by liking this guy, she's going to be hurt, or have her heart broken. These are legitimate concerns, and you're right to be concerned about her. How you go about showing that concern is the tricky part. What do you know about the boy that concerns you this way? Why do you not like him? Can you put into words what you don't like about him? I don't mean something like "He's creepy" or "He's Gross". Those aren't reasons. I mean something like "He takes Lunch Money from Second-Graders". You know, a reason you can point  to. If you have real reasons to not like him, then as a friend you can discuss this with her. But all you should do is share your concerns and let it go. Do not lecture about it, and belittle her feelings. Friends don't do that to each other.

   But you know what drives me nuts? Some girls, when they go crushing on a boy, that's all they want to talk about. They get this goofy look on their face and all they want to talk about is his eyes, or his dimples or whatever. They go totally Boy-Crazy!! It's like, Gag me with a Spoon. They don't realize how annoying this is, especially when you don't even like the guy. Meadow does this to me all the time. What you do when that happens, is tell her in a nice but honest way that "OK I get it, you like him, but let's talk about something else for awhile." Then find something to do that takes her mind off the boy.

    As  far as getting her to snap out of it, only time can do that for you. It is said nothing turns as fast as a young girl's heart. It could be by next month, she likes another boy. But it could also be one of those true loves that last an entire life. That's the tricky thing about love, you never know. And at 10, your friend is just learning how to work through these emotions, just as most 10 year olds are. As her friend, all you can do is be the ears to listen, the heart to care, and sometimes the shoulder to cry on.

    Hey Kandy

     I'm confused about a friend of mine.  When we're together we have fun, we like the same things, we share secrets. But when she's with her other friends, they say she makes fun of me, and calls me names. I don't get it. When I ask her about it, she says it was just a joke, or she really doesn't mean anything about it. She just blows it off. Problem is, I told her I liked a boy, and now I'm afraid she's going to like him too.  What should I do?

                                                                                  Signed Worried

      Hey Worried

   Sounds to me like you don't have a very reliable friend. It kind of sounds like a Pretend Friend. When they are with you, it's all fun and games, BFFs and all. But behind your back they don't act like your friend, and you don't know how much you trust them. That sounds like a pretend friend to me. The easiest way to know what someone really thinks about you, is the way they act when you're not around. It's what they do behind your back that tells what kind of a friend they are. True friends act the same way behind your back as they do in your face. If she was a true friend, you would trust her. True friends keep your secrets, and tell you theirs. A true friend wouldn't do what wasn't right by you, even if she did like the boy. True friends don't want to hurt your feelings, they want to be happy for you.  A true friend keeps your best interests at heart. That's how you tell what kind of friend they are.

    The bad news is true friends are hard to find. The only way to have a true friend is to BE a True Friend. The problem is, even if you are a true friend to someone doesn't mean they'll be a true friend to you. That's why they're so special, they're so rare. Sometimes it's not easy to tell what kind of friend you have. Sometimes they don't know themselves until the situation comes up that they have to show what kind of friend they are. Like liking the same boy. That's one of the toughest tests. How do you think true friends would work it out? Most people have many friends in their life, and many more pretend friends. But very few true friends.  

   The good news is that more than likely you know who might be a true friend right now, just maybe not who you think it is. Some friends stay true friends their entire lives. Such friends are so special, that you want to take care of them when it's your turn to prove what kind of friend YOU are.

    Dear Kandy

    I like an older guy. He is soooo cute and sweet that all the girls like him. I've known him for five years, and he still doesn't know I like him. But it's getting hard to keep my cover.

He was in the student council and choir. I try to give him signs that I like him, but he is clueless. Every time I'm near him, I freeze up and babble like a baby. I don't know how to tell him I like him. What can I do ?

  He's in the sixth grade, and I'm in fourth. In two years, I want him to take me to the 8th grade dance

                                                                                              Signed Smitten

    Dear Smitten

      Well first, at the sixth grade, he probably IS clueless. Most boys in sixth grade just aren't thinking of girls yet. And those that do are just as shy and nervous as you are. They are as nervous around girls as you are around boys. The easiest way to get closer to him, then, is to be a friend first, before you try to be a girlfriend. You say he's in student council, and choir? Have you tried out for those? Try to find things that you two have in common, it gives you something to talk about. 

  If you see him in the library, ask what he thinks of a book. 

  If you see him in the cafeteria, joke with him about the lousy food. You get the idea.

When you do get near him, try being yourself. What would happen to me, is I would try to "put on an act", you know, try to be someone I'm really not. I messed up every time. But when I just tried to be myself, I was cool. Hard to mess up when you're being natural. Just be yourself. When he sees you're being honest, he'll appreciate that.

    It looks like you have a bit of time before the 8th grade dance, so no need to rush it. Take your time, and just try to be a friend first. Who knows how that will turn out?

    Dear Kandy,

  I think it's neat the way you get good grades, and still are so cool. I am an A+ Student too, but in my school some of the kids tease me about my good grades. They call me "teacher's pet" or nerd and stuff like that. I wish I could be as cool as you. What can I do?   

                                                                                   Signed A+ (but not a nerd)          

     Dear A+ Student,

    First, congratulations on the great grades.  A lot of work goes into keeping up grades like that, and you should be proud.  I know I am. I keep my grades up because when I grow up, I want to become a Mad Scientist. I know that what I do now, how hard I work at it, will help me make my Life-Time Wants come true one day. I'm looking forward to my future, and getting ready for it now. Uncle Mike says this makes me a pretty smart kid.  Most kids at my school work hard for the grades they get, even though not all of them are as good as mine. These kids usually won't tease you about your grades, and usually they wish they could get grades like you do. Usually the kids that would tease you about your grades, haven't set a Life-Time Want yet, or just aren't willing to put the work and effort into it. And without work and effort, a goal is just a dream.  Sometimes, the ones teasing you are just jealous of the fact you have wants and goals, and are working on making them come true. Sometimes, the ones teasing you can't get good grades. No matter how hard they try, they just can't ( or won't) do it. So they tease you to try and make themselves feel better about having a more limited intellect than you. So when the teasing starts, think of where the teasing is coming from, and who it's coming from.  So, mostly ignore it when they start to tease, just go about what you need to do.  That's cool, that's being cool.

    Sometimes though, that's not enough. Some kids just get in your face about it. Uncle Mike taught me a trick one time. The last time Chandler Platz was teasing me about being nerdy, I looked him in the eye, and said, " You Know Chandler, one day YOU are going to be working for ME! And the way you treat ME now, is nothing compared to the way I'll treat YOU then." It sure made him think about it. The trick is though, is you must not only say it, you must BELIEVE it. When you believe that's going to happen, the other kids will start to believe it too.

    Now THAT'S COOL!!

    Keep up the hard work, keep your eye on your goals, and one day, before you know it they will come true.

      Dear Kandy,

  You don't know how lucky you are being an only child. I have a little brother who can be quite a pain. He always wants to hang out and annoys me all the time. When my friends are over to play, he wants to hang out. The more we tell him to go away, the more annoying he becomes. What can I do?   

                                                            Signed ANNOYED

      Dear Annoyed,

     You don't know how lucky you are having a brother around. I used to live with a brother and sister, and still miss them a lot. I used to have the same problem with my little sister, Sugar. What helped me out was when Mom told me, that since I was the older kid, Sugar is going to look up to me. She wants to be your friend, and for you be proud of her. She wants to hang out, because she thinks you're cool. The way you look at the older kids around you, at school and around the neighborhood, is the way your little brother/sister looks at you. Whether they want to admit it or not (they usually don't). They want you to think they are cool too. Try this the  next time your friends are over; Think of something you can all do together, like play a game, or watch a show that everyone likes. Doing things together will make him/her feel like you approve of them, and they'll appreciate being included. Then when it's time for just the older kids to do something together, like Girl talk or something, they are less likely to want to hang out.  And would be more likely to find something to do on their own. The more they start  to respect your private time with just your friends.  I think you'll find that the more you include them, and treat them with respect, the less annoying they become.

     And if you ARE the little brother or sister, remember, the older sister/brother needs some space too. The less annoying you are, the cooler they'll be toward you. I think you'll find, that the more you respect their privacy, and treat them with respect, the more they'll treat you the same way.

  Hey Kandy,

      You're lucky you can do so many different things so easily. Whenever I try to do some things, I don't have such good luck. I goof things up, and can't get the hang of it. I get frustrated and want to quit. Any advice on how to change my luck?

                                                                                         signed, UNLUCKY

  Hey Unlucky,

    Sorry to break it to you, but luck doesn't have a lot to do with it. True, I was lucky enough to have a Life-Time Want while I was still a Simette. Fufilling that Want though took a lot of work. I had to read so many cook books and mechanical books. I scrubbed a lot of toilets, gave a lot of speeches.  A lot of practice, a lot of patience, and a little help from Uncle Mike. The best way I can think of to change your luck, is to not count on luck.  Try this; Make a goal. Pick something that's not too hard at first, but something you want to be good at, like making a toaster pastry. Then start trying to make the best toaster pastry you can. Study cooking, cook some pastries, (but first make sure you have a smoke alarm !!). Sure, you'll eat a couple burnt pasties, and you may even have to call the Fire Department out a couple times, ( I'm NOT kidding about the smoke alarm). But before you know it, those pastries start to taste OK, then they start to taste pretty good. The more you practice and study cooking, the better the pastries start to taste. Sure, maybe you're lucky you have a toaster, but that's where the luck stops. The rest is up to you. Then when you fulfill that goal, you set another one. Reach a little higher, challenge yourself a little more. I think you'll find the more goals you reach, the more goals you'll set. Success becomes a habit.

   Once I achieved my first lifetime want, I rolled the want to become a Mad Scientist. That one is going to take awhile because I'm too young to get a job yet. But I'm still getting ready for it by going to school, doing homework, and spending a lot of time in the laboratory.