|
|
|
|
Being Smart About CyberBullies
|
Hey Gang'
Hang around my neighborhood enough, and you're going to hear about them. Chances are, you've even run into one, maybe even been one. Cyber-Bullies. What is it, who are they? How do they work? What is their function? If we just take a minute to look at the facts, we'll be better able to stay cool when the situation comes up.
Back before the Digital Age, kids just teased each other on the playground. Mostly no one saw or heard about it, except the kids who were on that playground. The difference today is that EVERYONE can see it happening. We've talked about what gets posted in my Neighborhood, never goes away. It get's saved on that big Hard-Drive in the sky, and stays around forever. So everyone can see it.
As we look at the facts, you can see cyber-bullies can be handled, just like anything else that comes up in a smart kids life.
|
Cyberbullying; What is it?
|
Cyberbullying is when a kid or a teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise
targeted by another child, preteen or teen on the internet, or with other digital devices, like a cell phone. To be cyberbullying, it has to involve just the kids, or at least start between the kids. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or
cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called
cyberbullying.
The methods used are limited only by the child's imagination and access
to technology. And the cyberbully one moment may become the victim the
next. The kids often change roles, going from victim to bully and back
again.
Cyberbullying is usually not a one time communication, unless it
involves a death threat or a credible threat of serious bodily harm.
Kids usually know it when they see it, while parents may be more worried
about the lewd language used by the kids than the hurtful effect of
rude and embarrassing posts.
Children have killed each other and committed suicide after having been involved in a cyberbullying incident. So this can be serious stuff.
|
How to Spot a Cyber Bully
|
If you’re like most teenagers, you spend a lot of time on a cell
phone or instant messenger chatting with friends and uploading photos,
videos, and music to websites. You may have online friends whom you’ve
never met in person, with whom you play games and exchange messages.
Teens’ lives exist in a variety of places such as school hallways,
part-time jobs, and friends’ houses. Now many teens also have lives on
the Internet.
And bullying has followed teens online.
Online bullying, called cyberbullying, happens when teens use the
Internet, cell phones, or other devices to send or post text or images
intended to hurt or embarrass another person. Cyberbullying is a problem
that affects almost half of all American teens. Whether you’ve been a
victim of cyberbullying, know someone who has been cyberbullied, or have
even cyberbullied yourself, there are steps you and your friends can
take to stop cyberbullying and stay cyber-safe.
There are two kinds of cyberbullying, direct attacks (messages sent to
your kids directly) and cyberbullying by proxy (using others to help
cyberbully the victim, either with or without the accomplice's
knowledge). Because cyberbullying by proxy often gets adults involved in
the harassment, it is much more dangerous.
Some ways to spot bullying behavior;
Being a victim of cyberbullying can be a common and painful experience. Some youth who cyberbully
Pretend they are other people online to trick others
Spread lies and rumors about victims
Trick people into revealing personal information
Send or forward mean text messages
Post pictures of victims without their consent
When teens were asked why they think others cyberbully, 81%
said that cyberbullies think it’s funny. Other teens believe that youth
who cyberbully;
Don’t think it’s a big deal
Don’t think about the consequences
Are encouraged by friends
Think everybody cyberbullies
Think they won’t get caught
|
The Types of Cyber-Bullies
|
1) "The Vengeful Angel" - In this type of cyberbullying, the cyberbully doesn’t see themselves as a
bully at all. They see themselves as righting wrongs, or protecting
themselves or others from the “bad guy” they are now victimizing. This
includes situations when the victim of cyberbullying or offline bullying
retaliates and becomes a cyberbully themselves
2) "Mean Girls" - This type of cyberbullying mostly occurs when the cyberbully is bored or
looking for entertainment. It is largely ego-based and the most immature
of all cyberbullying types. Typically, in the “Mean Girls” bullying
situations, the cyberbullies are female. They may be bullying other
girls (most frequently) or boys (less frequently).
3) "Power Hungry' - This type is just like their schoolyard counterparts in the analog world, some cyberbullies want to exert
their authority, show that they are powerful enough to make others do
what they want and some want to control others with fear.
4) " Revenge of the Nerds" - Interestingly enough, though, the “Power-Hungry” cyberbully is often the
victim of typical offline bullying. They may be female, or physically
smaller, the ones picked on for not being popular enough, or cool
enough. They may have greater technical skills. Some people call this
the “Revenge of the Nerds” cyberbullying.
5) " The Inadvertant Bully" - Inadvertent cyberbullies usually don’t think they are cyberbullies at
all. They may be pretending to be tough online, or role playing, or they
may be reacting to hateful or provocative messages they have received.
Unlike the Revenge of the Nerds cyberbullies, they don’t lash out
intentionally. They just respond without thinking about the consequences
of their actions.
|
|
Get some more information here;
|
|
|
|
Being Smart About it
|
Because their motives differ, the solutions and responses to each type
of cyberbullying incident has to differ too. Unfortunately, there is no
"one size fits all" when cyberbullying is concerned. Only two of the
types of cyberbullies have something in common with the traditional
schoolyard bully. Experts who understand schoolyard bullying often
misunderstand cyberbullying, thinking it is just another method of
bullying. But the motives and the nature of cybercommunications, as well
as the demographic and profile of a cyberbully differ from their
offline counterpart. Being Smart about it, means knowing it when you see it. Then what do about it when you do see it. The most important part is not being a bully yourself and not "going along" when your friends want to do it.
When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for
cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school
hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating
the student's free speech right. They also, often lose. Schools can be
very effective brokers in working with the parents to stop and remedy
cyberbullying situations. They can also educate the students on
cyberethics and the law. If schools are creative, they can sometimes
avoid the claim that their actions exceeded their legal authority for
off-campus cyberbullying actions. We recommend that a provision is added
to the school's acceptable use policy reserving the right to discipline
the student for actions taken off-campus if they are intended to have
an effect on a student or they adversely affect the safety and
well-being of student while in school.
Parents need to be the one trusted place kids can go when things go
wrong online and offline. Yet they often are the one place kids avoid
when things go wrong online. Why? Parents tend to overreact. Most
children will avoid telling their parents about a cyberbullying incident
fearing they will only make things worse. (Calling the other parents,
the school, blaming the victim or taking away Internet
privileges; you getthe picture...). Unfortunately, they also sometimes under react, and rarely
get it "just right." They're parents, what do you expect? But they should be the first person you can go to when things are getting out of control. Sometimes they do have an answer, and sometimes it's pretty good.
|
Being a Smart Parent
|
Parents need to be supportive of your child during this time. You may be
tempted to give the "stick and stones may break your bones, but words
will never hurt you" lecture, but words and cyberattacks can wound a
child easily and have a lasting effect. These attacks follow them into
your otherwise safe home and wherever they go online. And when up to 700
million accomplices can be recruited to help target or humiliate your
child, the risk of emotional pain is very real, and very serious. Don't
brush it off.
Let the school know so the guidance counselor can keep an eye out for
in-school bullying and for how your child is handling things. You may
want to notify your pediatrician, family counselor or clergy for
support if things progress. It is crucial that you are there to provide
the necessary support and love. Make them feel secure. Parents also need to understand that a child is just as likely to be a
cyberbully as a victim of cyberbullying and often go back and forth
between the two roles during one incident. They may not even realize
that they are seen as a cyberbully.
If there is any indication that personal contact information has been
posted online, or any threats are made to your child, you must RUN, (Do
Not Walk!!!), to your local law enforcement agency (not the FBI). Take a
print-out of all instances of cyberbullying to show them, but note that a
print-out is not sufficient to prove a case of cyber-harassment or
cyberbullying. You'll need electronic evidence and live data for that. If the authorities believe it is something to worry about, they'll tell you what they need and how to get it.The news is full of stories about not taking this stuff seriously. Get Informed; Get Involved.
|
|
|
|
|
And Now for a Word from our Sponsers
|
Do you Stumble?
|
|
|
No?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
