To read the details of Stormy's Question, see the Blog HERE.  

With this birthday, Stormy not only reaches a new year, she reaches a new age. She is no longer a child, she is now a young lady. To celebrate Stormy's new age,  I agreed to teach her anything she wanted to know how to do. Of all the things that I know how to do, I will teach her the skill she wanted to learn the most.  After  much discussion, debate, a few laughs , she decided her question is;

"How can I get what I want, everytime?"

This is my answer.

While learning to get what you want everytime is possible, it's not very probable. The process of learning that skill takes commitment to constant practice, diligent application. Very few people are really willing to put the time and effort into it, to master this skill. But a promise is a promise, and if you're willing to learn it, I'm willing to teach it.  Teaching this skill is not an easy process,  so I have broken it down into 7 lessons. I will teach one lesson at a time. When you show me you have mastered a lesson, I will give the next one. Each lesson you master will prove to me you are really willing to put in the effort to master the skill.  I will know when you have learned each lesson,   I will know when each lesson is complete. Each lesson builds upon the the one before it, so  to master the skill, each lesson MUST be mastered. Only the final test of each lesson will be graded. I will decide when that test is given, and it's a test that can't be falsified.. All tests are unannounced, and I will only tell you about the test after it's over.

So, Happy New Age, Young Lady. I hope you enjoy your present. Let the lessons begin.

Lesson 1

To get what you WANT, you must first decide WHAT you want.

You can't overlook this crucial first step. It may sound simple, but this is actually the most critical step. Most people never get what they want, because they do not know what it is they really want.  They go around in circles, jump from one wish to the next, chasing one dream after another, never really WANTING anything. A key mistake people make that stops them from getting what they want is that they don't realize a wish and a want are different things.

The best example I can think of to illustrate this would be two guys, Ned and Ted,  laying in the shade of an apple tree on a hot summer afternoon. At the very end of  a very long branch, way up in the tree,  is a big juicy apple.  The guys are looking up at that apple, and telling each other how delicious that apple looks.  

Ned looks up at the apple, thinks to himself 'I want that apple'. He looks how far up the tree it is, and how much of a climb it would be.  He thinks about how tired he could get climbing that high up into the tree.  He could be much too tired at the end of that climb to enjoy the apple.

He sees how far out on the branch it is, he notices how easy it would be to fall.  Under the tree, the breeze was cool,  but that high up in the tree the branches swayed in the wind.  Even after  such a hard climb, he would have to go out on the branch. The wind looks a bit strong up there, he could easily fall off.

He knows he could walk back to the barn and get the ladder, but it's a warm day, and the shade of the tree is cool.  It's a long way back to the barn, the ladder is tall, and the sun is hot.

 He lays there and looks at that apple again , and says to himself 'I really want that apple'.

Ted looks up at that apple, and he too, thinks to himself  how delicious that apple looked.  He thinks to himself, 'I want that apple'.

He looks how far up the tree it is, and how much of a climb it would be.  He thinks about how tired he could get climbing that high up into the tree.  He could be much too tired at the end of that climb to enjoy the apple.

He sees how far out on the branch it is, he notices how easy it would be to fall.  Under the tree, the breeze was cool,  but that high up in the tree the branches swayed in the wind.  Even after  such a hard climb, he would have to go out on the branch. The wind looks a bit strong up there, I could easily fall off. So he thinks to himself ' therefore the best option is to walk down to the barn and bring back the ladder'.

He walks down, gets the ladder, and brings it back to the apple tree.  He sets the ladder against the tree. He sees that even though the ladder is tall enough, the apple is still too far out on the branch. He leans the ladder against the branch and sees that it does sway a bit in the wind. He pushes the base of the ladder firmly into the ground, and believes with a bit of balance and caution, he can reach the apple. Up the ladder he goes.

So, as he sits under the tree enjoying this delicious sweet apple, he looks over at Ned, who's now looking at the flowers.

Which of the two guys REALLY wanted the apple?

The trick to mastering this lesson is understanding the apple is the wish, the dream, the desire. The WANT is the ladder.

If you really WANT the apple, you go get the ladder.

I will now take your questions;

Yes, Ned could beat up Ted and take away the apple. In that case, Ned's real want isn't the apple. Ned really wants to be a jerk or worse, a bully. The apple is just a means to that end.

Yes, Ted could share the apple, and both could enjoy it. In that case, Ted  has another, secondary want. He also has a want to share. We are all well aware of the beneficial consequences that sharing, and those types of  action bring. 

Yes, it is possible to fufill several wants with a single course of action. This is addressed later in the lessons, so I'll hold off on further details.

Yes, it is possible for Ned to go with Ted and get the ladder, to share the task of carrying the ladder to the tree, so that both can share not only the work, but also the reward. This is a shared want, and ideally desired. This too is discussed further in the lessons, so I will withold further details at this time.

Yes, Ted could give the whole apple to Ned. Then Ted's want is the gift, not the apple.

So, as you can now clearly see, the first step in getting what you want everytime, is knowing what you really want. You must define your want.

This concludes Lesson 1, I will tell you when the final exam is over.

When you have mastered this lesson, Click HERE

To read the details of Stormy's Question, see the Blog HERE.